You Ask Me How I'm Doing

You ask me how I'm doing
I answer with "I'm fine."
What I'd really like to say though,
Is I think I've lost my mind.

Won't you take a moment
To see my hurt and pain?
To know my life's been shattered
And will never be the same.

I've lost someone I love so much
It's just too hard to bare.
Is there someone to understand me?
Someone to say they care?

Will you take some time and cry with me?
Will you share in my great sorrow?
Can you somehow help me find a way
That I can face tomorrow?

Do you know that when my B.J. died
A part of me died too?
A piece of me is missing,
And I don't know what to do.

I don't expect to hear you say,
"I know just how you feel."
Just tell me that you miss him too,
And pray our hearts will heal.

Can you tell me that you're sorry,
And what he meant to you?
Somehow this burden may be lightened,
If the pain is borne by two.

written by: Mama

B.J. I wrote this poem in March '04 just a few months after you went away. All I wanted was to be able to talk about you with someone and to know they cared. That has not changed. Now we're in April '07 and my heart is still so broken. People don't notice like they use to and I think so many want to believe I am alright now. How wrong they are! Please ask Jesus to continue to carry Mama & Daddy as well as Amanda, Kayla, Sarah, and Johnathan. We all miss you so terribly much and need His strength to continue on in our journey. We will never get over you not being here. You have always been and will always be a very big part of our lives.
We will love and miss you always, Mama

Today is May 16th 2008 and I still feel the same way. I wish more people would want to talk to us about you. I'll never grow tired of talking about you Buddy.
Love, Mama

Well Buddy, today is August 16th and nothing is different. I still miss you just as much and more and I still want to talk about you. Only my forums friends seem to be alright with talking about you. I try to understand but I don't.             Love you forever, Mama

When B.J. had his kidney transplant someone gave him a little book with different sayings in it. Apparently it really meant a lot to him because after he died I found where he had folded over the corners of several of the pages that meant something to him. As I read through them I realized they described B.J. and the life he lived so well so I've decided to put them here as his legacy. B.J. loved people so completely and was never quick to pass judgement on anyone. He was a friend to many that wouldn't have had a friend had it not been for him. He lived for the Lord and set such a good example that even with him in Heaven all that knew him can still follow it. We're so proud to call B.J. our son and our brother. His faith was strong and so was his love for the Lord. He continues to make such an impact in the hearts and lives of the people that knew and loved him.

WE MISS YOU B.J.!!!!!!!!

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.

If you have one true friend you have more than your share.

There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goal only with the help of others.

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

What's important in life is how we treat each other.

If you judge people you have no time to love them.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

It's kind of fun to do the impossible!!

A friend is a gift you give yourself.

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.

If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would astound ourselves.

Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time.

Friends are there smile or tear.
Friends are there happiness or fear.
Friends are fun and friends are clever.
And the ties that bind friends will last forever.

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, the sun shine warm upon your face, the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

When you give of yourself, you recieve more than you give.

Let us out do each other in being helpful and kind to each other and in doing good.

THE BEST PORTION OF A GOOD MAN'S LIFE, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

It takes a lot of understanding, time, and trust to gain a close friendship... As I approach a time in my life of complete uncertainty, my friends are my most precious asset!

I am not gone all the way...I am still so fresh in your heart.